Sunday, January 27, 2013

心中的纠缠


最近很emo,但不知道要写什么。
我自己也不知道我在emo什么、在忧虑些什么。
心理有种莫名的担忧。
何解呢?
是朋友的关系呢?不是。
是家里的事情呢?不是。
是学校发生的事吗?不是。
但我能确定。。。。
似乎针对一些人的话而感到悲伤。
真的是有种很尖锐的刺插入心底。
可是,到底是谁跟我说了什么话,足以让我emo呢?
好奇怪,我还是捉不到是哪位咧。。。
还是,我自己心里作用?想太多而造成的?
或许吧。
这种感觉,何时才能摆脱呢?
纠缠着一些苦闷、能够让伤痕发芽,有好处吗?
要怎样才能觉得安心?我自己也不清楚 ='(
不可能每一天都要带着这种心情到处荡啊荡吧。
总觉得现在很无助。
有谁可以帮我呢?
最终还不是要靠自己才能解决?


Wednesday, January 23, 2013

Random post of Wednesday

actually, i don't really know what to blog about, and recently nothing special is going on
and yeah after Friendly Fire, 法网狙击 finished, there aren't really any good dramas to watch
Well, there's Inbound Trouble!! 老表你好野!but the episodes are slow
and it's actually quite funny to begin with HAHAHAHA
and now, urh..it's showing The Day of Days 初五启市录
quite a boring show but i like the main character雅媛
played by Sonijia Kwok 郭羡妮,my favourite actress of all times!
but then after i finished Inbound Troubles, i went to watch the 2012 dramas i missed
due to SPM -_______-
Well recently its just like this, nothing much, just can't wait to get out of house!
And this is how i spend every night, basically!
before watching dramas, i will do something at least....
and recently i've been doing my so called "nilam"
it's for the erican program called ERS 
So I think that's for now......
Sayonara!! ^^ Have a nice day!!







Tuesday, January 22, 2013

IELTS Finished !!!



Well actually, today is Tuesday
and I finished my IELTS test on Saturday HAHAHAHA
it took me quite sometime to blog about this thing
as i have been very lazy these days, especially after the exam
but then, i still need to update my blog and blog about something...

hmmm, im currently playing bubble blitz HAHAHA
so i still need a long time to finish this post :/
okay erm here goes

Saturday, on the 19th, i didnt sleep the whole night before the IELTS test
well because if i slept, at anyhow i will be sleepy
so at around 6am in the early mornings,
my dad drove me and my mum to cititel hotel in Penang Island
wow its actually rated as a 4 star hotel, and i thought it was a 3 star only, cool!!
so i made my way up to the 3rd floor, and guess what, there's girl earlier than me
hmm since it was pretty early, we head downstairs for breakfast
and when it was time, we waited at the waiting area

the rules were strict, no bags, no handphones
so i took my number, 1414, abit unlucky to say,
locked my handphone and my bag and got in to take my finger scanned and photo taken

at first it was a half-an-hour Listening Test
well, i have confidence that I will do best in this part!
although the conversation spoke was barely unable to testify what they're saying
at first when i listened to it, it sounded like a conversation between Jay Chou and 郭书瑶
but i think the most mistakes i will make is 7 so im steady with this
Next, was the reading test, i was okay at the first 2 comprehension
but got stuck at the 3rd one, it was really complicated
so i think i might do well in this and at the same time might not do well too :(
Then, it was the writing test.
well i wrote the Task 2 first as it contains more marks then Task 1
but seriously, i didnt know what i was writing about.
i just opened the paper, had a quick glance at the title and started writing
without any points beside me and just wrote everything on my mind
so im guessing im going to be dead in this part too
and as for Task 1, err,i dont quite know the format for this
but i wrote it as though im writing the ekonomi essay
but i dont think ive used any of the keywords in it :(

later, we had a short break and then its my Speaking test.
well my time was 13:10 but right after my writing test
i was called for a standby already, and im like, so fast?
around 12.30 i was called in to the examination hall as i was the 3rd one
when i walked in i was slightly nervous but okay still
until i met my examiner, OMG!!!! she is so strict!! no smiles or anything
and she gave me a question which i couldnt answer it!! without any preparation notes!!
i ended up with UMs and ERRs and ARRs and ERMss which was super bad
and you are not suppose to do this during any interview or any speaking test!!
so i hesitated for more ideas on how to answer her and i ended up with short answers
so basically I screwed my stupid Speaking Test!!!!! ARGH!!!!!!!!!

after this I felt super tired and when i hopped on the car, i was nearly asleep
but then my parents said they wanted to go Balik Pulau, and im like are they serious?
I didnt even bother about their conversation and I slept soundly in the car
by the time i woke up, we were on the way to Balik pulau!!
and did you know how i got up? i was awaken by the winding slopes!!
gosh and when i woke up i was so giddy and was so uncomfortable!!
seriously feel like throwing up but I held back!!
we went to Balik pulau to look for some houses and then I saw........
Prince of Wales Island International School!! so pretty!! and huge!!
it has a huge field, a tennis court and a swimming pool!
and as from what I heard, this school is really good!! hahaha
how i wish I could study there :/

well that's the end of my day HAHAHAHA sorry for the long post!!





Thursday, January 17, 2013

Randomly wrote out of no sensation and no ideas

recently I have this weird habit of opening my friends blogs and listen to their blog music
and im like : why am I so weird? like a weirdo
and i will sing to the lyrics and the rhythm of the beats [LOUDLY of course]
well my mind tells me that I have to study but my ego disallows me to start my action
so im grounded between my ego and my mind,totally mixed up from right or wrong.
well these kind of feelings, many people sure experienced it
but too often leading yourself into this disintegration will cause you to go topsy turvy

seriously, i really have to study for my IELTS if I wanna get band 6 and above
but, im still stuck!! imma still surfing the internet like there's no examination coming up
well basically, my IELTS test is just this coming Saturday LOL
i know im dead meat!!
im very scared of the writing and reading part
im so afraid that I will not have enough time to complete both sections
well the writing part is probably essays
you gotta finish off 2 essays in one hour [Gosh! i gotta rush myself...]
and for the reading one, its erm something like ICAS
but ICAS is just comprehension and objectives
and of course you have to read it quickly and answer it correctly
but the IELTS one are comprehensions and subjectives!!!
at least you have an idea for what the answer might be for objectives
NOT FOR SUBJECTIVES!!!! this is going to kill me rather soon.

well I hope im ready for it by Saturday, ive still got half a Thursday and a Friday for my last preparation
and tomorrow I'll be staying int he Jusco's library for revision
so I will leave my laptop at home and concentrate studying back in the library
Back to me olden days where I used to study for hours in the Jusco library for my SPM
now im currently going there to get prepared for my IELTS test!
Wish me LUCK!! =D

放下。迷惑

放下,这两个字,好难 :'(
原本真的以为我已经把你放下了
但与你的回忆就像旋转木马那样一直旋转在我脑海里 
叫我怎样忘记你呢?
我努力的想把你给忘记,但为什么,回忆会一直困扰我?
难道,这是一种暗号?复合的暗号?(假的吧)
但说真的,明明很在乎,却要伪装这种感觉,真的比熬夜还要辛苦呢
但自己知道在乎了,想要表达也是一种疑惑。
但,像你这种喜欢妹妹型的人,是不可能跟一个同岁的人很要好的
要交朋友的话,你也是选效果你的人,对吧?
上次你说你不怎么喜欢跟同岁的人交往,难道曾经跟你同班的,你也没把她们放在眼里?
连纯粹做个朋友也不行?

为什么我要对你这么好?
当你需要人陪的时候,我都一直在陪你
当我需要人陪的时候,你都不理我
既然你已经这么冷淡地对待我,我为什么会这么傻去在乎你呢?
我也不明白为什么我会对你这么好
但,我真的不想你占我便宜
你真的没有发觉到,以前和现在的语气逐渐地在改变吗?
难道你的人也就是读书读书读书而已吗?
你能不能多多观察你的四周啊?顾虑你朋友的感受?
难道你这一生都是要人家服侍你?
在我们人生中,没有这回事的,你也不是什么少爷还是少奶LOL

我真的希望,有一天,你会醒过来
你会领悟到你身边的朋友,还有很多是关心你的
希望以后的日子,你对某人好一些 :')
真诚的祝福你吧,请求那些不美好的事尽快远离你
希望以后我们会是很要好的朋友吧 :)

久违了,老师

老师,过得好吗?想起以前4、5、6年级老师都是我班的级任老师
是我们K班最好的级任老师,我们很荣幸有您这位老师 :)
没想到,已经第5年不见老师,别来无恙吧?
想起老师以前不管我们四年级都好还是5年级,甚至六年级
老师都会一直说自己是18岁,哈哈哈,永远18岁、长不大的18岁!
但,老师这18岁善意的谎言,还能维持多久呢?
感觉上当年一直说自己18岁的老师5年后,白发苍苍,真辛酸 :'(
以前老师当我3年的级任老师的时候,头发还乌黑,如今,变了 :'(
岁月的流逝,谁能阻止啊?

如今,今晚,啊,应该说是凌晨4点出吧
突然看到老师暂我的状态,就知道老师在线,便找老师去。
原来老师还记得我啊!老师还记得我小学的时候华语跟数学较差=3=
老师啊老师,好的不记去记那些不好的哈哈哈
可是我真的很惊讶老师还能记得我华语跟数学不怎么好咧!
果真是记忆力超强的!好棒哦您,老师!
谢谢老师3年的陪伴,其中3年小学的回忆,是由老师的陪伴,所以才会更精彩!
说真的,当我在跟老师您聊天的时候,眼泪莫名的留下了。。。

真的是很久都没见老师了,到现在都不知道老师的状况如何
哈哈哈!当我告诉老师我在熬夜读书,真的是遐思老师了!
老师还万分地提醒我不要熬夜会对身体不好 
没想到,4点多,老师起身了,我,还没睡 .___. 真的吓坏老师了,不好意思哈哈!
好啦,我的post就到此为止,5点了 .____.